BarrieBergman

Yankee Doodle Dandy

I’ve become more patriotic as I’ve gotten older.  I always promised myself that  I wouldn’t become more conservative when I got older, but supporting our people in uniform seems the correct thing to do.

I try to remember what Memorial Day is really about.   The sacrifice of service people and their families to protect our freedom is important to me.  While Congress is cutting spending, which I totally support, I am opposed to cuts in Veteran’s benefits.  We have to take care of the people who take care of us.  I am opposed to war, but if we have to fight them, we have to make sure the soldiers who fight them are as comfortable as we can make them, when they come home.
                                                                ~
From the sublime to the ridiculous.  It’s nice to see Donald Trump supporting Mitt Romney.  Twenty-six percent of Americans said they would support any candidate other than one Trump’s supported.  George Will recently called the Donald a bloviating ignoramous showing some conservatives have amazing perceptivity.

Wolff Blitzer got into a wonderful debate/argument with the fool about Trump’s Birther Movement.  If you can find it, it’s worth watching.  It was great to see a newscaster have enough of this self-promoting asshole.  Trump responded by basically calling names and telling Blitzer his ratings were low.  With an intellect like Donald Trump’s, why isn’t he solving world hunger or curing cancer?

Why does this moron get air time?  Why am I talking about him?  What is the meaning of life?

~
The road goes on forever
And the party never ends
Robert Earl Keen

Hold the Line

I played football as a child and in high school, which may account for some of my aberrant behavior as an adult.  I loved to play football.  It brought out my baser nature.  I enjoyed knocking the crap out of somebody.  It didn’t make much difference whether it was a teammate in a practice or an opponent in a game.  I just loved to hit people.

I couldn’t play at any higher level because I was too small and too slow.  So, the various injuries I sustained, when I played, are no more serious than a bad back and bad ankles.  I was never concussed, but I did play an entire game with a pinkie finger sticking out sideways because it was broken.

I’ve always been a huge NFL fan, since I was a little kid, and I watched early Washington Redskins games, which were available in North Carolina, where I lived.  I still watch giant men assaulting each other on Sundays.  But I’ve convinced myself that I watch for the beauty of the game, not the violence.

Recently I’ve been revising my views about football.  If I had a son today, I would try to dissuade him from playing the game.  I’ve watched great players develop terrible illnesses that I believe come right from too many violent collisions.  I’ve had friends, who were ex-players, who paid a high price for their years in the NFL.

I’m still going to watch and cheer for my team, but with every new suicide or maimed ex-player, I’m losing some of my enthusiasm.

~
Forever young
Forever young
May you stay
Forever young
-Bob dylan

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

Last week the lovely wife and I boarded a big Delta Box and went to New Orleans for the Jazz Fest.  The indignities of flying today have been widely chronicled, but I saw an incredible use of our tax payer dollars, while in the New Orleans airport!

We were in the first class security line and suddenly another line opened up to our left.  It turned out this was the full body scan line.  Well before we got to the scanner, a worker told us that this was the body scan line, and if you didn’t want the scan, you needed to go back to the other line.  In other words, the scanner was only for rich people and any suicide bomber, who didn’t want to get scanned, should go to the other side.  Welcome to the Big Easy, the real Big Easy!

The Jazz Fest is the best big musical event I’ve ever been to.  It combines indigenous music with the biggest names in Rock and Roll.  Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, and the Beach Boys played the first weekend, and The Eagles are playing the second weekend.

Seeing Bruce with an audience of 150,000 people was a religious experience.  He’s still the best I’ve ever seen, and he had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand.  Also Trombone Shorty is one of the most exciting new talents around.  Find him on a video, if you get a chance.

Four days of eating, drinking, and partying in NOLA should last for a while.  My diet and my liver are shot to hell.  Rock and Roll and old age may not be the greatest combination for a recipe.

~
Lord have mercy on my Rock and Roll soul
-Kimberly Kuepferle

Thanks Dick

We lost an American icon this week, Dick Clark.  Dick was an original.  He was the first person to break a record nationally.  He never saw color in artists.  At a time when many radio stations refused to play music by black performers, Dick played Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, and James Brown for a national audience.

He was a hell of a businessman.  He took Rock and Roll from the clutches of payola and let his audience decide about the merits of the music (i.e. “I like the beat.  I can dance to it.  I’ll rate it a ten.”).

He created the Academy of Country Music and many other award shows, primarily to showcase the music, when so little Rock and Roll was on television.  His production company was extremely successful, and no New Years Eve will ever be the same without him.

I met Dick a few times.  He was always kind and respectful toward me.  He did business on an honest, ethical basis, which was missing in many of his contemporaries.

I don’t think the American record business would have developed without Dick Clark.  So many of us owe him so much.  He will really be missed.

~
Hail Hail, Rock and Roll
Deliver me from the days of old
Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll
The music is there body and soul
- Chuck Berry

I Was Born a Poor Black Child

I was raised in a very traditional American family.  My parents, both first generation Americans, were similar to Ozzie and Harriet.  All of their parents emigrated from Russia in the early 1900’s to get away from the Pogroms (the Tsar’s army killing Jews).

In a way I’m here because of a search for religious freedom and because of a search for separation of Church and State.  My parents believed in keeping a very low profile politically in their community, because of their family background and being Jews in the South.  They were lifelong Democrats, but they never let anybody know it.  No matter how hard I’ve tried to rebel in my life, this apple has never fallen very far from my parents’ tree.  My politics are similar to my folks, and I’m not very outspoken publicly.

All these reasons come together in my fear and loathing for what is going on in the Republican primaries for President.  The devolving race to see who can be the most conservative among Mitt and the three dwarves is mired in social issues that were settled fifty to one hundred fifty years ago.  To talk about rescinding women’s rights or calling people who went to college “snobs and elitists,” makes me check the window for the guys on horseback coming to drag us away for our beliefs.

I know this crap is all posturing and positioning, but as our economy improves and we extricate ourselves from wars that we should never have started, the Republicans are running out of issues.  How about a campaign to help Angelina Jolie adopt more children or to find Katy Perry a new man?  Whaddya think, Newt?

We’ve Got a Barn, Let’s Put on a Show

I love living in Southern California.  The weather’s great, it’s beautiful, and there’s lots to do.  Last week we went down to Oxnard, where a lot of the country’s fruits and vegetables are grown, to a totally unlikely car museum.

The museum is called The Mullin Automotive Museum, and it features French cars from the 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s.  The cars are Bugattis, Talbot-Lagos, Delahayes, and others.  They are mostly art- deco, rounded, curvy, and gorgeous.

Because they are so rare, many of them exceed one million dollars per car.  This place is so unique and so well done, it should be on everyone’s list, who appreciate beauty and style.

Also last weekend we saw Nashville song-writer Matraca Berg in Santa Barbara in a singer-songwriter series called “Sings Like Hell,” which my old friend Hale Milgrim, former president of Capitol Records, is very much involved.

Matraca, whom I have loved for years, is not a household word, but she’s written a bunch of hit songs for other people, and has been nominated for two Grammy’s.  She got on stage and said she hadn’t played a full set by herself in a year and that she had been to a party before the concert, but she “hadn’t gotten trashed.”

She said she was nervous, so that was the reason she carried a glass of wine on stage with her, which she finished.  She forgot the lyrics to four songs and had to restart each of those songs.  At first it was amusing, but after awhile I thought it quite unprofessional.

Artists have a responsibility to their audience.  They need be rehearsed and ready to perform, when they hit the stage.  I paid my hard earned money to see a concert, not a rehearsal.  If they aren’t performers, don’t perform.  By the way, I still loved her, but I’m a sucker for cute girls with good voices.

The Name Game

I love celebrity baby names.  It’s not enough to be screwed up themselves, celebrities need to screw up their kids with wacko names.  I know what it’s like to have a name that no one ever spells right.  My father decided to spell Barrie with an “ie” and that was the last time anybody ever spelled it right.  This is the reason I’m so weird today.

Mariah Carey named her baby Monroe, which I suppose is after the Doctrine.  She’s such a history buff.  Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple, but that’s okay because she’s perfect.

Ethan Hawke called his Indiana because David Letterman is from there or maybe because the ugliest city we ever had a store in was Evansville.  Victoria and David Beckham have Harper, whose sexual orientation is unclear.

Viola Davis has Genesis, doubtless named for the band.  Alicia Silverstone has Bear Blu, which totally escapes me, and Mike Tyson has named his progeny Morocco, so he can be called “The Rockin’ Moroccan.”  Natalie Portman’s little dancer is Aleph, while Kevin James’s son is Kannon, what a little firecracker.

January Jones has Xander, a totally mad name.  Jewell calls her child Kase, which I believe is a travel bag.  Jessica Alba’s girl is Haven, which I suppose left out an “e,” but it could be a place to hide.

All this is just ammunition for my oft-held belief that people should be licensed to have children.  To use kids to encourage one’s own ego is so unfair.  I’m thinking of changing my name to Alvin.

Arts and Crafts

I’m on several boards of art organizations.  Up until a few years ago these organizations were funded by either a university or by the local government.  In our present economic environment, the arts in our country have gotten short shrift.  We’ve cut school budgets, community playhouse budgets, dance funding, music funds, and painting classes.

What place does art have in a successful society?  Why should we care about local drama classes?  Art is a mirror of our society.  It’s a way of looking at ourselves in a skewed prismatic mirror.  Art points out our foibles and our strengths in a different way.  Strong societies nurture art.  I hope we get the message before we lose some of our most valuable resources.
                                                             ~
The short term Kardashian wedding seems to have started a trend.  Celebrities are throwing away marriages as fast as they can start them.  I, for one, am terribly worried.  Just last week Heidi Klum and Seal, a marriage for the ages, split up.  Now my favorite fat person, Aretha Franklin, announced her wedding is off, stillborn before she could even enjoy marital bliss.  I think we need a congressional commission to look into this growing problem.

High Times on Stage and Off

Continuing last week’s theme of Arlene and Barrie go to rock and roll shows . . .

We once went to a show with James Brown, where he peeled off 2 one hundred dollar bills from a huge wad of money.  He handed the cash to the guy at the door and said, “Let my friends in.”  I was backstage one night talking to Sam Cooke, and I happened to mention that my girlfriend was in the audience.    Sam said that he wanted to meet her.  So he and I went into the small balcony, where he could meet Arlene.  He sat with us and talked for a long time.  To an awestruck kid, it doesn’t get any better than these experiences.

Artists say the damnedest things on stage.  Wayne Newton says, “You’re the greatest audience I’ve ever had,” every night.  Do not ask how I know this or whether I ever saw Wayne Newton live.  Once you get by the usual clichés of, “Hey Altoona, are you having fun?” or “We’re gonna party all night long,” some artists reveal themselves by what they say. Tony Bennett, admittedly long in the tooth, said, “What a night” about ten times.  Linda Ronstadt complained about how cold it was in two different concerts over a ten-year period.  Get a sweater, bitch!  Miles Davis played with his back to the crowd and never said a word.

Katy Perry, playing at home in Santa Barbara, was excited and made the evening very personal with wonderful local memories.  James Taylor sang, In My Mind I’m going to Carolina in California, and transported me home to NC without a plane.  Mary Wells, having throat trouble that eventually derailed her career, came on stage and just waved, showing she was at the concert.

The list of remarkable things go on and on, but my favorite was a middle level country singer performing in Dorton Arena, a converted agricultural building at the NC State Fair, who said in perfect sincerity as he ended his act, “Raleigh, I’ll never forget you.”

Now on Our Stage

Over the years I’ve seen some of the greatest entertainers.  My father started to take me to see great talent, when I was a little kid. Arlene, my wife, and I continued the practice.

My father took me to see such varied performers as Nat King Cole, Marilyn Monroe, and Gene Autry.  We saw Bob Hope, Perry Como, and Spike Jones.  We also saw Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, and a host of other people.

Arlene and I have seen everyone from Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, The Rolling Stones, James Brown, and Tina Turner, when she was still with Ike.    Throw in Ray Charles, Led Zepplin, Sam Cooke, and literally thousands of others, and I’ve had a good look at the entertainers of the last part of the 20th century.  Looking back on all these shows, I’ve seen and heard some amazing things on stage. 

I even got to be on stage a few times.  Alabama once gave me an award in front of 16,000 people, and our family got to sit on stage during an Eagles concert.  The energy that comes toward the stage from that many people is a pretty heady experience) and is responsible for some incredible stuff that I’ve heard performers say and do.

I saw Elton John get hit by something someone in the audience threw at him.  He went down like a brick, out cold.  He came back later and finished the concert with a big bandage on his head.  One night I was in the first row for a Zepplin concert, and I didn’t stand up, when Robert Plant told the audience to stand.  He started yelling obscenities at me.  I saw Charlie Rich, the country singer, get so drunk on stage that he fell off of his piano stool.  I watched Warren Zevon swig an entire fifth of vodka out of the bottle, while on stage.  When we took a picture after his set, I had to hold him up, because he couldn’t stand.

I met Jimmy Reed, the great blues singer, laid out on a table, because he was so drunk he was too drunk to stand.  Arlene and I walked in on Jackie Wilson, when he was naked, which was thrilling for all of us.  I’ve got a bunch more.
To be continued next week . . .