BarrieBergman

Yankee Doodle Dandy

I’ve become more patriotic as I’ve gotten older.  I always promised myself that  I wouldn’t become more conservative when I got older, but supporting our people in uniform seems the correct thing to do.

I try to remember what Memorial Day is really about.   The sacrifice of service people and their families to protect our freedom is important to me.  While Congress is cutting spending, which I totally support, I am opposed to cuts in Veteran’s benefits.  We have to take care of the people who take care of us.  I am opposed to war, but if we have to fight them, we have to make sure the soldiers who fight them are as comfortable as we can make them, when they come home.
                                                                ~
From the sublime to the ridiculous.  It’s nice to see Donald Trump supporting Mitt Romney.  Twenty-six percent of Americans said they would support any candidate other than one Trump’s supported.  George Will recently called the Donald a bloviating ignoramous showing some conservatives have amazing perceptivity.

Wolff Blitzer got into a wonderful debate/argument with the fool about Trump’s Birther Movement.  If you can find it, it’s worth watching.  It was great to see a newscaster have enough of this self-promoting asshole.  Trump responded by basically calling names and telling Blitzer his ratings were low.  With an intellect like Donald Trump’s, why isn’t he solving world hunger or curing cancer?

Why does this moron get air time?  Why am I talking about him?  What is the meaning of life?

~
The road goes on forever
And the party never ends
Robert Earl Keen

That Toddling Town

I spent most of the 60’s running a record store in Chapel Hill, NC.  Chapel Hill was called the Berkley of the East, so I got to see lots of anti-war demonstrations.  I was opposed to the Vietnam War, but I always thought most of the protestors were just pissed off college kids looking for a place to put their anger.  The demonstrations went on in Chapel Hill long after the war ended.  I guess the people just needed something to fill the time.

I watched a lot of civil rights demonstrations up close and personal.  I stayed in our Durham, NC store several times during rallies to protect it from harm, if there were a riot.  Although I have no idea what I would have done, if trouble had occurred.

I believe strongly in peaceful demonstrations.  I support peaceful assemblage for issues that I am opposed to, but that’s where I draw the line.  The thuggery, that occurred last week in Chicago, appalled me.  It reminded me of the insanity at the 1968 Democratic Convention, except that time the authorities and an insane mayor were to blame.  We probably have Mayor Daley to thank for Richard Nixon’s presidency.  Thanks a lot, Richard.

When I was trying to raise my children, I often told them that ”might makes right,” when they asked me why they had to do things.  I of course was bigger than they were, so it was a clever way of getting them to behave.  I publically apologize to my kids.  That’s no way to behave.  Just watch television news, if you don’t believe me.

~
Signs, signs, everywhere signs
Mostly say hooray for my signs
-Buffalo Springfield

Nun Sense

Finally the Catholic Church has figured out the cause of all of its problems.  For those of you who missed the recent coverage, the answer was obvious all along.  The problems with pervert priests and cover-ups by the administrators, who run the church, were right under our noses.

It was the Nuns.  They’re to blame for all of the church’s problems.  Like 50,000 battered women, the Nuns just wouldn’t listen.  The church had to pay $144 million in claims last year, which would never have happened, if the women in the habits would have just shut up.

The Holy See says these women have been spending too much time on “issues of social injustice” when “they should be speaking out against contraception and homosexuality.”  They should also stop talking about “radical feminist themes.”

It’s hard to imagine that an institution, that has brought so much pain and suffering to mankind, should blame these devoted people.  It’s impossible for me to stomach.

I was recently in South America where the church’s influence has brought poverty and ignorance by encouraging the proliferation of population.  Our world is running out of resources, and if we want our planet to be habitable for our grandchildren, we have got to limit population growth.

The Catholic Church’s position on contraception is so wrong headed as to be laughable.  At least the Nuns aren’t allowed to have children, although the next thing you know they’ll be texting the Pope for permission.

~
Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo
Come on out and spread the news
-Rick Derringer

Thanks Dick

We lost an American icon this week, Dick Clark.  Dick was an original.  He was the first person to break a record nationally.  He never saw color in artists.  At a time when many radio stations refused to play music by black performers, Dick played Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, and James Brown for a national audience.

He was a hell of a businessman.  He took Rock and Roll from the clutches of payola and let his audience decide about the merits of the music (i.e. “I like the beat.  I can dance to it.  I’ll rate it a ten.”).

He created the Academy of Country Music and many other award shows, primarily to showcase the music, when so little Rock and Roll was on television.  His production company was extremely successful, and no New Years Eve will ever be the same without him.

I met Dick a few times.  He was always kind and respectful toward me.  He did business on an honest, ethical basis, which was missing in many of his contemporaries.

I don’t think the American record business would have developed without Dick Clark.  So many of us owe him so much.  He will really be missed.

~
Hail Hail, Rock and Roll
Deliver me from the days of old
Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll
The music is there body and soul
- Chuck Berry

Stop the Madness

Bobby Petrino, the football coach at Arkansas, is caught with the swim coach’s fiancée on the back of his motorcycle, when he has a wreck.  He says that she is a random woman standing beside a country road, apparently watching the birds and the bees.  It is even more remarkable that he can lie so facilely with a broken neck.

The assistant football coach at Penn State is accused of molesting many small boys, while school officials look the other way.  This goes on for years.

The assistant basketball coach of Syracuse is accused of child molestation.  The head coach says that the accusers are crazy.  This allegedly goes on for many years.

An assistant coach with the New Orleans Saints incentivizes his players to hurt and maim other team’s players.   The head coach and general manager know, but do nothing to stop it.

The successful Baylor women’s basketball team, NCAA Champions, and the men’s football team send thousands of illegal texts and e-mails to prospective recruits, while the school does nothing.

It doesn’t end here.  It goes on and on and on.  There is no institutional control of sports in this country, as long as the coaches and the teams win.  As long as the money keeps flowing in from fans and alumni, nobody gives a crap.

When are we as a society going to say, “Enough of this”?  We can only stop this reprehensible behavior by voting with our wallets.  Don’t attend, don’t watch, and don’t donate in support of these thugs.

You wouldn’t make donations to your local meth dealer.  Stop supporting the great American addiction.  If you do, Carolina football can come back from its latest scandal.

~
Mr. big stuff, who do you think you are?
- Jean Knight

We’ll Get Rich a Few Days Later

I read recently that rich people are more likely to cheat at stop signs by jumping the queue than people of modest means.  The wealthy are also more likely to fudge on taxes, and in other places, than their poorer compatriots.   The theory is that the rich are empowered and feel more entitled than those of modest means.

Before you poor schlubs out there start to feel superior, you’ve got to realize that as soon as you get wealthy, you expect the same entitlements as your formerly rich betters - so much for the nobility of the poor.  As I have often mentioned, I’ve been poor, and I’ve been rich, but rich beats the crap out of poor.  However, that is a topic for another day.

Ethics are an interesting matter.  When I first decided to write a book, my title was going to be We’ll Get Rich a Few Days Later, which referred to having a strong ethical base in business.  Instead, I named my book Nice Guys Finish First, because my publicist talked me into it.

I still like the first title, although the second title took me to great riches and fame.  In a time of Rush Limbaugh and mass cheating in politics and sports, doing the right thing is an American value we should return to.

In the same article I alluded to, it was discovered that more affluent people fudged on change.  They were much less likely to return money, if a cashier gave them too much change on a cash purchase.  My wife Arlene and I have given money back many times.  About half the time the person is reluctant to take the money and acknowledge they made an error.  Some times you can’t do the right thing even if you want to.

Nice Guys Finish First:  amazon.com
Website:  barriebergman.com
Blog:  http://barriebergman.typepad.com/barriebergman/   

Best and Worst of 2011

Worst:
    1.    Team:  Indianapolis Colts without Peyton Manning.
    2.    Movie:  W.E.  I haven’t seen it, but Madonna directed it, and that’s enough for
             me.
    3.    TV Show:  Charlie Sheen’s reality show.  Yeah, I know it wasn’t a show, but it
             was close enough.
    4.    Politician:  Tie - all Republican Presidential Candidates.  Who will be the
             tallest dwarf?
    5.    Government:  Tie - All members of the European Union.   Amazing . . . the
             U.S. government didn’t even make the top ten!
    6.    Institution:  American college athletics.  What a mess – cheating, sex
             scandals, and out of control greed.
    7.    Family:  The Murdocks.  Rupert must be very proud of such a scurrilous
              group.

Best:
    1.    Firing:  Hank Williams, Jr. from Monday Night Football.  Hank, put a sock
             in it.  Also, write a song, and don’t mention your father.
    2.    Divorce:  Kardashians.  Honorable Mention – The Bryants & The Demis. 
             That’s Demi Moore, you fools.
    3.    Sports Teams:  UNC Basketball – soon to be National Champs, again.
    4.    Broadway Show:  Book of Mormon.  It’s hysterical.  Don’t miss it.
    5.    Place to Live:  Santa Barbara.  Don’t move here.  You’ll hate it.
    6.    Airline:  None.  Good airlines don’t exist.
    7.    Wine:  OPW – other people’s wine

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and Merry New Year!

Siss Boom Bah!

College athletics have ben important to me since I was a young child.  Growing up in Durham, North Carolina, I became a UNC fan.  My first hero was football player Charlie “Choo Choo” Justice.  When Carolina won the NCAA basketball championship in 1957, I was as excited as I’ve ever been about a game.

Later I switched allegiances, when I went to Duke, but switched back UNC because we had too many family members split, and I lived in Chapel Hill anyway.  The Tar Heels became my team.  I have gone to a lot of games.  I’ve traveled to Bowl games and Final Fours.  I’ve spent countless hours glued to the TV screen.

The reason that I’ve recounted this personal journey is because I have just about had enough of college athletics.  The greed and the lying, the insistence that “it’s all for the student athletes,” is making me ill.  Now we are faced with several sexual abuse scandals, which were covered up by schools to protect the programs (i.e. the money).

We need a new model for universities.  Either sponsor teams with paid players, who don’t attend the schools, or revert to a inter-mural model more like the Ivy League, but less commercial.

The athletic tail is now wagging the educational dog.  The schools have lost their way, and it’s starting to hurt their educational goals.  In a time when budgets have been cut and tuition costs are going out of sight, it makes no sense to occupy college time and energy with a preoccupation on the business of athletics, which has nothing to do with education.

Suggestions for a New World Order

I’ve been watching the child abuse scandal at Penn State with horror.  Assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky was allegedly sexually molesting children, and it was covered up by the athletic department and by school administrators.  Joe Paterno, the iconic football coach, knew about it, but told only the athletic director, not the police.

It’s obvious that this was covered up to protect the football program, i.e. money.  College athletic programs are so out of control that they are virtually being run as private fiefdoms, purely for money, having nothing to do with education. Every school’s claim, that it’s all for the student athletes, is a bunch of crap.

This particular situation also brings up the issue of age.  Is an 83 year old too old to coach one of these large programs?  I think Paterno is a good guy, who is long past his expiration date.  He doesn’t have the energy to control this lunacy.

This terrible story has a backdrop of the unusual insanity that goes on in our world.  After a great amount of study, I have this solution for a complicated problem: 
    1.    Frank McCourt has to sell the Dodgers.  He’ll be out of a job.  Make Frank McCourt the commissioner of college football, sort of the head of greed, since he’s the greediest bastard I know.
    2.    Let Herman Cain be the football coach at Penn State.  There are no women on the football team,  so he can’t get into any trouble.
    3.    Nominate Joe Paterno for President.  He’s a kindly old man, he looks presidential, and I don’t think he’ll bother anybody.

Is Anthony Weiner a Hot Dog? (and other thoughts)

Sorry I didn’t write last week.  My wife Arlene made me go to Hawaii, drink too many Mai Tais, and suffer the ignominy of being beaten in tennis by my grandchildren.  I’m going to resist all of this in the future.

While I was gone, Representative Anthony Weiner came forth (unfortunate usage) to reveal that he had sent women pictures of himself with his shirt off or in only his underwear.  He sent some photos to a seventeen year old and others to a porn star.

While obviously in bad taste, I’m just not sure to what level of awful these pictures are.  When Marky Mark is on huge billboards in his skivvies, how bad is it to see this fool without a shirt?  I know our elected representatives are supposed to be held to a higher standard, but with all the misbehavior that goes unpunished in Washington, I can’t get too excited about Representative Weiner’s indiscretions.

I have a new hero, Richard Childress.  The NASCAR car owner and legend has been fined $150,000 for assaulting driver Kyle Busch.  Childress, a 65 year old grandfather, put Busch in a headlock and pushed him over and over.  Go, Richard.

With Fathers’ Day approaching, I’ve been aware of potential gifts for my favorite father; that being me.  I did come across a possible gift that might say that the honeymoon is over with one’s lovely wife.  You know it’s time to work on the relationship when the gift is the new Assisted Suicide Kit sold by Sharlotte Hydorn.

Even though Sharlotte’s parents couldn’t spell, she has produced a kit with clear plastic bags and medical grade tubing so you won’t get an infection, while you’re dying.  Her orders are up 100%, so business is good.

On a serious note, get well Clarence!