BarrieBergman

We’ve Got a Barn, Let’s Put on a Show

I love living in Southern California.  The weather’s great, it’s beautiful, and there’s lots to do.  Last week we went down to Oxnard, where a lot of the country’s fruits and vegetables are grown, to a totally unlikely car museum.

The museum is called The Mullin Automotive Museum, and it features French cars from the 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s.  The cars are Bugattis, Talbot-Lagos, Delahayes, and others.  They are mostly art- deco, rounded, curvy, and gorgeous.

Because they are so rare, many of them exceed one million dollars per car.  This place is so unique and so well done, it should be on everyone’s list, who appreciate beauty and style.

Also last weekend we saw Nashville song-writer Matraca Berg in Santa Barbara in a singer-songwriter series called “Sings Like Hell,” which my old friend Hale Milgrim, former president of Capitol Records, is very much involved.

Matraca, whom I have loved for years, is not a household word, but she’s written a bunch of hit songs for other people, and has been nominated for two Grammy’s.  She got on stage and said she hadn’t played a full set by herself in a year and that she had been to a party before the concert, but she “hadn’t gotten trashed.”

She said she was nervous, so that was the reason she carried a glass of wine on stage with her, which she finished.  She forgot the lyrics to four songs and had to restart each of those songs.  At first it was amusing, but after awhile I thought it quite unprofessional.

Artists have a responsibility to their audience.  They need be rehearsed and ready to perform, when they hit the stage.  I paid my hard earned money to see a concert, not a rehearsal.  If they aren’t performers, don’t perform.  By the way, I still loved her, but I’m a sucker for cute girls with good voices.

High Times on Stage and Off

Continuing last week’s theme of Arlene and Barrie go to rock and roll shows . . .

We once went to a show with James Brown, where he peeled off 2 one hundred dollar bills from a huge wad of money.  He handed the cash to the guy at the door and said, “Let my friends in.”  I was backstage one night talking to Sam Cooke, and I happened to mention that my girlfriend was in the audience.    Sam said that he wanted to meet her.  So he and I went into the small balcony, where he could meet Arlene.  He sat with us and talked for a long time.  To an awestruck kid, it doesn’t get any better than these experiences.

Artists say the damnedest things on stage.  Wayne Newton says, “You’re the greatest audience I’ve ever had,” every night.  Do not ask how I know this or whether I ever saw Wayne Newton live.  Once you get by the usual clichés of, “Hey Altoona, are you having fun?” or “We’re gonna party all night long,” some artists reveal themselves by what they say. Tony Bennett, admittedly long in the tooth, said, “What a night” about ten times.  Linda Ronstadt complained about how cold it was in two different concerts over a ten-year period.  Get a sweater, bitch!  Miles Davis played with his back to the crowd and never said a word.

Katy Perry, playing at home in Santa Barbara, was excited and made the evening very personal with wonderful local memories.  James Taylor sang, In My Mind I’m going to Carolina in California, and transported me home to NC without a plane.  Mary Wells, having throat trouble that eventually derailed her career, came on stage and just waved, showing she was at the concert.

The list of remarkable things go on and on, but my favorite was a middle level country singer performing in Dorton Arena, a converted agricultural building at the NC State Fair, who said in perfect sincerity as he ended his act, “Raleigh, I’ll never forget you.”

My New Year’s Resolutions

 1.    Spend less time with serial killers on television and in books
 2.    Lose weight
 3.    See my children and grandchildren more
 4.    Don’t let the stock market upset me
 5.    Don’t let politics upset me
 6.    Lose weight
 7.    Travel less and enjoy the wonderful place I live
 8.    Go to more movies and watch less television
 9.    Eat and drink less
10.    Don’t get crazy, when Carolina loses a basketball game
11.    Lose weight
12.    Don’t get angry, when some deluded person misses a line call and calls one of my ace services “out”
13.    Go to the beach more
14.    Be charitable to people rather than institutions
15.    Stay in touch with my friends
16.    Lose weight
17.    Walk more stairs
18.    Spend more time with my lovely wife.

Happy New Year!

He Works Hard for the Money

I saw Paul Simon at the Santa Barbara Bowl this week.  The Bowl is a little gem with 4400 seats.  It was a WPA project built in 1932.  You can see the ocean from the venue, which makes it fairly unique, and it is a terrific place for artists to play.

Paul Simon was great.  He was on for two hours and ten minutes, during which he sang most of the songs I wanted to hear, plus a sprinkling of new songs from his latest album.  He sounded wonderful, and had good stage energy, particularly considering he’s 70 years old.

He did not plug his new album; he didn’t say it was available at the concession stand; he didn’t shill for any worthy charity; and he didn’t say, “Hey, Santa Barbara.”  He also didn’t ask the audience if we were having a good time, although I think he cared that we were.

As a contrast to this amazing show, we saw Aretha Franklin at the same venue last year.  She tossed off her hits in very quickly played medleys, and she sang arias from two operas.  (Yeah, I know . . . What the hell was Aretha Franklin singing opera for?).  She was totally self-indulgent with no regard for her audience.

Aretha has assumed gigantic body proportions, and I think that this interferes with her ability to perform.  She broke a strap to her gown during the evening, which she found hilarious, but I found sad.  It just hung there, forlornly having given up the ghost of holding her in her dress.

I bumped into Aretha recently at a New York hotel concierge desk, where she was playing the bitch diva to the hilt.  I have loved Aretha since the 60’s.  It seems to me that artists need to care about their audience and be more like Paul Simon and less like Aretha.  At a time when artists have to tour to make a decent living, they owe us fans their best work.

Smelling Roses

Sorry I haven’t written lately.  We had a family medical issue to clear up, and we spent a month on the East Coast interfering with our children’s lives.  They were incredibly understanding and very helpful in a serious situation.

The universe needed to remind me of what is important in my life, namely the health of the people I love and my health.  Nothing else matters much when you get that phone call that says, “Santa Barbara, we have a problem.”

Our problem was wonderfully resolved, but I got a wake up call that maybe a football score or the stock market close isn’t as important as I thought it was.  I haven’t yet reached the same conclusion about the Roger Federer – Novak Djokovic match at the U.S. Open, but I’m getting there.

We all place too much importance on small meaningless things in our lives, and lose sight of what is really important.  As fall approaches go out and commune with nature, watch the leaves turn (not available in California), or hug a grandchild.  We all have a limited amount of time.  Make all the days count.

Santa Barbara Royalty

We went to see Wills play polo last week.  Kate was also in attendance.  I felt it was the least I could do, since they had come to Santa Barbara especially for my birthday, which was on the 7th.

For our $400 per ticket we got the privilege of paying for drinks, eating a box lunch, and sitting on uncovered metal bleachers.  We were also wanded by a metal detector and sniffed for explosives by a fierce looking German Shepherd.  My favorite part was the cavity search, but Arlene doesn’t want me to talk about it.

It turns out that Will is a good polo player, as much as I could tell.  He scored 4 goals, and his team won the cup, which Kate presented and then gave him the two-cheek European kiss.  Royals get all the chicks.

Arlene wore a cool hat, but alas I showed up in shorts and a Tommy Bahama shirt.  I’ll never get invited to one of the Queen’s garden parties.  I’m not sure why we went and plucked down our hard earned money.  We could have bought the $4,000 tickets and had a fancier lunch with the Prince and the little woman.  I do feel better about the expenditure, since it all went to charity.  (They raised $4,000,000.)

Will and Kate are a very elegant couple, and I really like them.  I learned how to curtsy, but I didn’t need it this time.  Maybe next time, when we hang out together, I’ll get to scrape and bow. 

On another note, I don’t usually shill for movies, but Arlene and I watched one that I think is worth a look.  It’s called Arranged.  It’s about a Jewish woman and a Muslim woman, who become friends, when they teach together in New York.  It’s a terrific story and very entertaining.  We watched it on Netflix Instant Queue, so it’s easy to find.  I’m convinced that watching this movie will make the world a better place.